If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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