So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
