im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Randomize
