i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I intend to get homeless drunk
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
