i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
