i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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