Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
