we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
