I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
