I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
