You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
