yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
