What did we do last night that was yellow?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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