You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
