is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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