I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
