once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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