I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
