She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
