I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
