You can't special order awesome
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
