shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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