I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
