You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
