I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
