You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
