Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Randomize