dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
