Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
