Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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