I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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