sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
