under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
