Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
