I think im going to throw up on grandma
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
