Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
