I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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