Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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