break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
