Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
