the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
