I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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