it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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