Where is the hickey?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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