so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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