it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
