RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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