you mean i was at the winter classic?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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