I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
