I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize