I showed him my bush... on skype.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
