Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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