Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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