you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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