You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
