he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize