Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
did i just pee glitter
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
